My Broken Heart
by coolgal1478933
Summary: Just a short fanfic series about some bad daydreams I've been having. Enjoy!Rated T for dark thoughts and themes.
1. The Winter Dance

I laugh. I'm at my school dance, dancing my filthy little heart out. Having a great time , until I see him. My heart almost stops.

Evan, the only one I've truly liked/loved. He sits next to me in some class and has the locker next to mine.

His dark hair shining in the moonlight, at the winter dance. I gasp, but luckily for now he doesn't notice me. He's dancing with a girl, Jessica I believe her name is.

Evan doesn't know I like him. Probably thinks I'm a weird, ugly, emo, freak, like the rest of them. I just hope I haven't fallen for a jerk again.

Their dancing closely, I'm watching them, when suddenly she leans down and kisses him on the mouth. I didn't see him shove her away, I was already in tears. My hand leaving my dance partner's I tell him I'm not feeling well.

My eyes downcast and tears streaming down my face, I bump into some one. Evan. I start to apologize, Then realize who he is.

More tears come now, although I try my best to stop them. He looks confused at why my face is wet with salty tears, and unshed ones in my chocolate brown eyes. Our gazes meet, and eyes lock, if only just for a moment.

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but I tear myself away, sprinting towards the girl's bathroom, where I can cry my precious, broken heart alone.

**I raced after her. Rebecca's fleeing towards the girls bathroom, probably to cry. I don't know what's wrong, I only ran after her on instinct. I'm curious to learn why she's crying. I doubt many people have seen her cry before, because her best friends even looked shocked, unknowing what to do. She always seemed so strong, so unbothered, with no one to bring her down. She sang one song that ever made me realize she wasn't invulnerable to pain. _"I Don't Believe it Anymore"_ by Cote de Pablo, a bitter-sweet love song apparently. Now that strong girl seemed so weak and… broken. She hid in the bathroom, where I didn't dare go after her. I heard footsteps coming my way and blended in with the shadows. It was one of Rebecca's friends, Maria.**

I heard Evan following me, until I was in the bathroom. My shoulders shook, as I sobbed silently. I heard another pair of footstep, foreign to my ears. It is my friend Maria, she came after me. I hoped to cry my broken-heart out alone, but as usual I wasn't getting my way.

"Rebecca, are you O.K., I saw you running, what's wrong?"

"Do I look O.K. to you Maria? I can't believe everyone saw me crying; now I'll be labeled as a crybaby too!"

" You still didn't answer my question, Rebecca. Why are you crying?"

"I saw a girl kissing Evan, or him kissing the girl."

"Well that's not all that bad now is it?"

"Maria, I really like/liked Evan. Really liked, as in a lot. Now I'm wondering if I'm setting myself up for heartbreak a fourth time. I don't think there's muck left to break though. I just can't do this again. I've liked a new boy for every school I've gone too. I just can't do this much longer."

"Are you sure you'll be O.K.?"

"Yeah. I'm going home.

"Alright then. Bye, Rebecca."

"Bye Maria."


	2. High School Depression

_You're asking me to be rational. That is something that I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't._" -Anakin Skywalker to Padme Amidala

**DYING ON THE INSIDE**

High school, that great place of education, and of severe heartbreak. He and I talked a lot, but he just wanted to be friends. It broke my heart every day to see him and his one month girlfriend, my ex-best friend, Heather. I felt like she'd betrayed me and he smashed my heart, again. Deep down, in my heart I know Heather was only using me, as a friend to get closer to Evan, but I still whished it wasn't so. I was baited into a horrible trap. My life had ceased meaning and reason, now that I knew Evan did not love my back. I saw I had fallen for the wrong guy … again. I swore to myself, I would keep my feelings for him hidden, as I always do. When I emptied the dishwasher that night, looking at a sharp knife, I considered ending it all; the pain, the hate, my life. But my sister walked in, I would not do something so low when she was around. So whenever I was alone, I cut myself. I cut my arms, my thighs and my stomach. I disgusted myself, but the voices wouldn't leave me alone. They whispered my fears, my horrid thoughts, and my deepest darkest secrets. _"You're worthless", they said, "You don't matter, nobody loves you. Not even your family!"_ That's what the voices said, and I believed them. Few people could see me falling into a deep depression, the only ones that saw, were the 2 or 3 people I let my mental brick walls down around. They wanted the slightly depressing me back, but I wouldn't let her show, she was too broken, she was always crying, not just on the inside. Evan was always happy though, I didn't want to corrode him with my dark depression, so long as he was happy. I would be standing on the sidelines, dying on the inside. I sung to myself, quietly, songs of a brokenhearted girl dying on the inside, killing her self, with no one that loves her, whose life was a burden she had to carry. ** SOMETIMES LIFE SUCKS, BUT THOSE ARE THE DAYS YOU LEARN SOMETIMES PAIN MAKE YOU STRONGER, BUT OTHER TIMES IT KILLS YOU.**


End file.
